"I have the Devil and God raging inside of me"

"Dont be intimidated in any way by your enemies. This will be a sign to them that they are going to be destroyed, but that you are going to be saved, even by god himself. For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him. We are in this struggle together. you have seen my struggle in the past, and you know that i am still in the midst of it." (Philipians 1:28-30)

I find my self in life, on a roller coster always living to much in the rise and falls. Wondering when ill find that medium.. waiting to have stability and control but not having the strength or Faith to control the ride. Lord strip me of my conception of living life, and help me receive yours. Rid me of my desires that distract me from you. Let me start to hate the conception of Fun in my life that is so conformed to this world. Help me find joy, peace, comfort, and excitement in what is holy and pure. Im sick of my redundant sins, that cycle i seem to always be finding myself in. I strive for self betterment that is permanent and cant be shaken. Free me of my Big sins lord. Forgive me God for always wanting more in my life. For never being content with myself or everything you have given me. Take away my selfish desires lord, my lack of faith in trusting you God. Develop me into the Godly man i was built to be. Refocus my heart with a hunger for loving others and show me how to love like you. I need your direction lord. Be the lamp at my feet lord and help me remember that my entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.